It all begins in your head.  Everything that you want in life, and everything that you don't want in your life, gets pulled in to your existence by how you think. 

We tend to believe our thoughts happen in response to what is going on around us.  But the opposite is actually true.  Our thoughts are the seeds from which our life is born. 

Imagine that you are on a boat in the ocean.  You aren't really headed in the direction that you want to go, but your boat is in a strong current, and you just figure it is too much effort to fight it, so you just go along with it.  Even thought it isn't where you want to go.  It is so much work to dig in your oars and turn your boat around against the current.  And besides, maybe you can't actually get to that little lovely paradise island that you are dreaming of.  Maybe it doesn't exist.  Maybe you're doomed to spend your whole life adrift at sea.

This is how your life works.  Your thoughts and beliefs are the current beneath the boat.  But the truth is, you can turn your boat around and get to that current that will take you to that island where you will lounge on the beach sipping fancy drinks while watching a delicious sunset.  It just takes a little effort at first, but it gets easier and easier as you re-position the boat of your mind.

In order to have the life you want, you only need to change the way you think, and everything else will follow.  It is so easy to get caught up in thinking about yourself in a negative light, or thinking about your life in a negative light.  It is easy to believe the fears we think in our head are real and true.  We think that if we are afraid of something (that guy doesn't like me, my friends are talking about me behind my back, my debt is going to eat me alive, I'll never live in a home that I feel happy in), that it must be TRUE.  So, we keep thinking it.

Unfortunately, when you are really committed to that thought, you can create a life around it.  Let's say you want to lose weight, because you think you're fat.  You swear to eat healthy, finally!  This time, it's going to work!  And for the first day, you're good.  You're more than good, you're GREAT.  The next morning, you wake up and catch a glance of yourself in the mirror.  You zero in on that roll of belly fat, the pudge beneath your skin.  You remind yourself how overweight you are.  This makes you feel bad.  That energy from the day before deflates, as you once again are faced with how you are just not good enough.  Your self-esteem plummets.  You make your way into work, and decide to grab a doughnut, because you just feel down and you just want a little slice of happy.  And besides, you can eat better at lunch.  Lunch rolls around, and you think well, I already screwed up at breakfast, I might as well eat a burger, I can try again tomorrow.  By dinner, you go crazy and eat tons of crap, because, after all, this whole day is in the crapper.  I can do better tomorrow.  But then tomorrow comes around, and you just think that you're such a failure, why even bother.  Obviously, there is something inherently flawed in you, and you are just not strong enough.  And so your little boat sails on...

Wrong.  You are perfectly strong enough.  You just were pointed in an old direction in a very strong current, but it is the direction you don't want to sail into any longer.

Try this instead:

That morning, when you wake up, you catch a glimpse of yourself, and that old thought comes in that you are fat.  You catch yourself pulling out that old programming.  Now it is time to implement some new programming.  "This is just a temporary form, I am losing weight.  My body is constantly in flux, and I am making the choice to be thinner.  Remember how I lost weight that summer a few years back?  It is possible for me to lose weight again.  I'm losing weight now".  Maybe you don't completely believe it, but you plant those thoughts in your head anyway.  And you make your way in to work, and plant the thought again: "I'm losing weight", so you decide to grab a healthy breakfast, to support your weight loss.  By that afternoon, you feel pretty good, and grab a tasty salad, since you can see that you're living this new life.  Evening rolls around, and you fix a tasty dinner, and decide to have a piece of cake as well.  Old thoughts roll in to your awareness, and you start to beat yourself up again.  You can see your thoughts are steering you back into an unhappy place.  So you stop yourself, remind yourself that you are losing weight, and that you are choosing your life.  And that your life has dessert in it.  But it also has weight loss in it.  And you are choosing that these two can work in harmony.  And the next day, you realize this life isn't so bad, and you're feeling pretty excited about what lies ahead of you.  And aren't your pants a little looser than they were last week?

Oh, and by the way, stop trying to be perfect.  No one is.  Perfection isn't going to get you anywhere.  Be kind to yourself, okay?

And for those of you who love bullet points, like I do, here is a little tasty summary of how to make your life your own, and how to think yourself free...
  • Decide what you want in your life
    • Weight loss
    • Debt free
    • Organized home
    • Etc.
  • Identify your supportive "seed thoughts"
    • "I'm losing weight"
    • "I'm financially powerful"
    • "My home is a place of beauty"
  • Find examples in your past that support that truth
    • How easily you lost weight that time, so obviously it is possible
    • That credit card you paid off and closed, so obviously it is possible
    • How cute your bedroom was when you set it up and decorated it, so obviously it is possible
  • Borrow experiences from others
    • Jane lost weight and is looking great, so I know I can
    • Suze was in a great deal of debt and now is extremely wealthy, so it is possible for me too
    • Mike manages to keep his place looking great even with a full time job and family, and if he can do it, I can do it
  • Realize that actions will rise up to support your seed thoughts & be prepared to flow with them
    • You will feel inspired to pass on the dessert
    • You will decide to hold off buying something that you want, to see if you still have the desire for it a week from now (you won't, you'll forget it; or you will, and you'll love it even more for your certainty)
    • You will fill driven to organize that spare bedroom and take a trip to Goodwill to release some of your extra stuff into the wild
  • Be aware of your thoughts. When old thought patterns pop up (as they will), just redirect your mind to your new supportive thoughts
    • I'm fat --> My body is in transition --> I'm losing weight
    • I'm so poor --> I'm whittling away at my debt --> I'm financially powerful
    • My place is a wreck --> I'm recreating my home one room at a time --> My home is a place of beauty
  • Draw attention to your successes, and make a big deal about it in your brain, and add these examples to your proof of ability
    • When you actually are craving a salad, and not chips
    • When you pay a double payment on your credit card
    • When you get that drawer all organized and cleaned out
  • Be kind
    • You are a mere mortal after all
  • Be flexible
    • Recreate your thoughts and the life you want as you get a clearer vision of it
  • Enjoy the ride